Life, Death and Beef Brisket
by muchtvs
Summary: Post season three finale one shot. Rated T for language.


**Author's note**: This is a season three finale one-shot. Odd little story. Try and stick with it.

Scratch behind the earsto **ctoan** and **maud **for betaing, even though I tinkered their skills away. All mistakes are mine.

As always, thanks for reading. Some of you have been with me since my first story and your support means so much to me.

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Life, Death and Beef Brisket

by muchtvs

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It wasn't Seth's fault.

Really, it wasn't.

Ryan ordered a plate of "beef brisket", which they all knew he didn't have the appetite or motivation to actually eat and who could possibly resist the temptation of repeating words that phonetically pleasing, five times?

Fast!

Seth's only human after all.

"Beef brisket."

"Beef brisket."

"Beef brisket."

"Beef brisket."

"Beef brisket."

In retrospect, Seth blames that bastard, Alliteration, for its temptation-ous ways.

He supposes, maybe, that he might be a little accountable, that he can't guilt it all on a literary term, because his dad did say, "Seth, knock it off," on "beef brisket" number three and his mom did clear her throat in irritation at number four and Ryan did actually open his mouth on five and warn him, "Stop. Repeating. That."

And yes, he did go right ahead and launch a sixth, "beef brisket," which was extraordinarily immature.

But seriously, how was he supposed to know that the fallout of that last, inflammatory "beef brisket" would be Ryan flinging his chair backwards and stomping off?

There's no way anyone could have predicted that.

What really sucks is that his parents are pointing accusatory fingers in Seth's direction and yes, ok, they may have a small, valid argument that he was being unnecessarily obnoxious at a time when serious and adult-like behavior is in order but…his parents just don't get it.

They always seem to throw the dart one ring short of the bull's-eye.

They shouldn't be focused on how much he just pissed off Ryan.

They should, on the other hand, be very concerned about the fact that Ryan, the more mature one, albeit tightly wound times ten, just blew a gasket over the words, "beef brisket."

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Seth finds Ryan in the darkest corner of the country club's well-trimmed grounds.

"I'm sorry I said beef brisket. Five times. Ok, six times, actually, if you were counting, which I think you maybe were, given the whole chair on the floor thing."

Crickets chirp.

Ryan…no noise.

"Are you ok? Wait, that's a ridiculous question. Of course you're not ok. Can I get you anything? Can I say… anything…that will make you come back to the table, or have I ruined everything? More. Than it already is."

Stars twinkling, moon shining, Ryan not talking.

"These kinds of situations freak me out…and I get nervous, and I can't help myself...and I just, I turn into this stupid ass of outstandingly large proportions and I don't know why I do it, but I do."

Ryan ignores him completely, walks away.

Seth stands there, feeling pretty damn stupid.

He steps on a noisy cricket.

Cricket brisket.

He can't help himself.

It's a coping mechanism.

"Cricket brisket."

Ten times.

Fast!

His repeats it silently in a repetitive mantra, all the way back to the reception hall, where everyone but Ryan sits, whispering about how sudden and terrible it is that Marissa Cooper is dead.

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When he wakes up the next morning, he decides that beef brisket has cost him enough time away from Ryan.

Seth arms himself with two cups of hot coffee and he trudges through the _'day after the funeral of Marissa' _mist that is fogging up his house to the backyard, down the patio steps, where the air is a little crisper because the sun is shining, absorbing the feel of death.

The pool house blinds are down – like that's ever stopped him before.

Two knocks.

No answer.

"Ryan, come on. Rise and shine. I brought coffee, buddy."

The door isn't locked.

Seth knows this for sure because he jiggles the doorknob and it gives way. He walks in, gingerly, respectfully, solemnly and he stands there with his two cups of steaming java, rocking to and fro on the heels of his feet, in the open doorway and says, "So. Ryan. I know things are bad. Really really bad, right now. And I'm genuinely and humbly sorry about last night. It won't happen again."

Dead air.

Not a creature stirring.

"Ryan?"

Before today, Ryan has really only physically scared Seth once, at Grandpa and Julie Cooper's engagement shower, when Ryan was furious at Eddie for beating Theresa and went storming off from the shower, intent on kicking Eddie's ass, consequences and the terms of his probation be damned. Seth made the mistake of grabbing Ryan's arm, trying to stop him from leaving and Ryan said, with a Do. Not. Fuck. With. Me. face, _"Let go of me. Now."_

Ryan flings the comforter off his bed, stands up angrily and swings out an arm, sending the ceramic coffee cups flying out of Seth's hands and the coffee spewing on the carpet and walls and Seth is physically afraid of Ryan for the second time ever.

Seth leaves without saying another word.

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Summer is lying on Seth's unmade bed.

He keeps pushing away strands of hair from her face where it's clinging, because tears are sticky.

Combined with snot, tears are like nature's glue.

"Oh God," Summer says, her hands over her eyes.

That's all she gets out before her body shakes and the trembling starts and then more tears and more snot, combined with some valiant but useless attempts at sniffling.

But hey, at least she's standing today without the support and balance of her father.

At least this afternoon, Seth was able to take Summer out of her house and away from Julie and Kaitlin and Jimmy and their non-stop fighting and yelling and almost impossible challenge of trying to grieve for Marissa as a united family.

Dr. Roberts is the poster child of 'No room at the inn.'

He took Mr. Cooper into his home, even though the Cohens offered a place for Jimmy to stay.

But now poor Summer is caught in the cross fire of Cooper versus Cooper drama.

Kirsten comes into Seth's room, unable to listen to Summer's sobbing any longer without intervening, and sits on the bed and takes a turn at prying Summer's hair away from her sticky face.

Seth sits on the edge of the mattress, handing his mom gobs of tissues, listening to his girlfriend steadily calm down and watch Summer almost falling asleep, only to have her remember with a sudden jolt why she's crying, and it all starts up again.

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Fucking beef brisket.

If Ryan has a nervous breakdown, all alone in the pool house, it'll be The Brisket's fault.

The Brisket is keeping him away from Ryan.

That and the whole hot coffee stains spread on the pool house wall thing.

"Are you going to do anything about this?" Seth asks his father, as they both sip orange juice, staring out the kitchen window at the very dark, blinds down, not a creature stirring, pool house. "It's been two days since the funeral and he hasn't even come out for food."

"What would you like me to do, Seth?" Sandy asks.

"Um, I don't know, Dad. Maybe, parent?"

He dad puts…well sort of slams…his glass of juice on the counter and turns to Seth and says, "Do you think this is a fucking joke, son? Do you think I _want_ to be standing here, instead of in there, talking to Ryan? What exactly would you suggest I do, Seth, seeing as though you and your smartass mouth might possibly be the entire reason he's isolating himself from us."

"Sandy!" his mom catches his dad venting, stress releasing, frustration projecting with a stinging side of 'fucking joke, son'. "Do _not_ talk to Seth like that. This is not his fault."

"I have to go to work," Sandy says.

His dad has a new job…or rather a different… recycled…career, that is.

But all Seth hears is the same old excuse for leaving the house when the house is exactly the place his dad needs to be.

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Ryan emerges from the pool house and walks up the steps and joins them for dinner.

Seth sits as far away from him as he can, given the limited boundaries of the table.

Ryan politely mutters the following things in the following order:

"No thank you."

"Thanks."

"Water is fine."

"I'm not really hungry."

"Can I borrow the car tomorrow?"

"Kaitlin called and asked me to take her by the trailer to pick up some of Marissa's clothes. She's afraid to ask Julie."

Seth almost shouts out the words "beef brisket", because Ryan's shunning of him is seriously starting to piss him off and even an angry reaction from Ryan would be better than the frosty silence.

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Summer is consuming all of Seth's time.

Seth stops worrying about Ryan, not completely, but mostly, because it's all he can do to make sure Summer is showering every day.

Mr. Roberts seems lost as to what to do for his daughter, and in a strange twist of fate, he calls Seth every morning, asking Seth what time he is planning to drop by to pick Summer up.

"It's hard on Julie, seeing Summer around the house after losing her own daughter. Summer has you and your family, Seth. I'm all Julie has."

Marissa's posthumous gift to Seth is Mr. Roberts' gratitude and sudden friendship.

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One week, fifteen hours and six "beef briskets".

That's how long it's been since Ryan spoke to Seth.

Summer is passed out on the couch.

Ambien, swallowed at noon, tends to do that.

His mom and dad are out, where doesn't matter.

Neither one of them are at work, which is refreshing.

Seth thinks maybe they are 'therapist shopping' for Ryan because his mom said at breakfast, "Your father and I have some errands to run."

Seth, Da Vinci style, broke the code three days ago.

"Errands" means looking for a shrink for Ryan.

Seth is relieved it's happening because Ryan in counseling is probably about three fucking years late.

But not a single one of them is pretending that it's the answer to the constant dismal mood that is blanketing Casa de Cohen.

Ryan is just one cog in a machine that is long overdue for a tune-up.

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Seth sighs and takes a deep breath and opens the patio door, rushing down the steps before he loses his nerve.

Ryan's silent treatment of him has gone on long enough.

The guy is talking a little to Mom and Dad and random people that come to the door delivering various forms of, "I'm so sorry, Ryan."

And he's talking to Kaitlin whenever she calls, and Summer whenever she's awake.

Occasionally he talks to Julie Cooper, if she drops by, looking for Kirsten.

But Ryan still isn't talking to Seth.

Seth stands at the pool house door, his hand poised midair.

He knocks a few soft knocks and asks one very low, "Ryan, are you around?"

The blinds swing up and Ryan is standing there, bare footed and sporting jeans that are looking way too baggy when they used to fit just fine.

With hair that used to be combed.

With skin that used to have color.

With a face that used to have some kind of expression regardless of who came to the pool house.

He opens the door and steps aside and Seth eases his way in.

He says to Ryan, "Ryan, man, that night, after Marissa's funeral, the whole obnoxious "beef brisket" weirdness, I didn't mean to…"

Ryan turns his back to Seth and walks over to the counter and settles behind it like an army hiding in the relative safety of a deep trench.

Seth wonders if he is pushing his luck, staying in pool house.

Maybe he should have waited one more week before trying to cajole a peace treaty from Ryan.

But he's so lonely, even though he's spending every minute with Summer and he misses Ryan's unconditional presence even more than he misses his words.

"Ryan. Please." Is the only thing he says this time because, really, Seth's not asking for forgiveness. He's asking for understanding. And sometimes with Ryan, just a few words deliver the message better than endless dialogue.

Ryan looks up at Seth.

Non-hostile eye contact is a start.

Seth takes a step closer to his friend and says, "I was just rambling Ryan. I wasn't thinking about how shitty you were feeling. I was too busy thinking about myself and how it sucked that the last time I see Marissa, it's in a casket. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to add to the crazy amount of stress you were….are…dealing with."

Inside his head, Seth counts to ten then twenty and then seventy before Ryan says, "I know you didn't. I didn't want to be there, stuck with all those people. You pissed me off. I lost my temper."

Seth sits down on the bed.

Clears his throat.

"Um…"

He's not sure what else to say to Ryan and he's terrified of saying the wrong thing but he's Seth Cohen and not talking is akin to not breathing.

"Summer's here, sleeping in the living room. She brought along extra Ambien."

Ryan's eyes steer away from Seth's direction but he smiles a little, his lips curing upwards on the right side.

"I'll pass."

Seth motions towards the house. "Well, do you want to come in and watch a movie? We can watch whatever you want."

Ryan shakes his head, 'no'.

"Please?" Seth asks.

They both pretend he's not begging.

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X-Men The Last Stand is almost released in the theaters, so watching X2 is a natural given.

Not even Marissa's death can stop Wolverine from kicking ass.

Summer wakes up halfway through the DVD, in the midst of a pill-induced stupor, and heads straight for Seth but ends up in Ryan's lap, not crying, but not smiling either.

She lays her head on his shoulder and asks, "Can you still smell Marissa? I smell her perfume everywhere."

"Sometimes," Ryan answers and hugs her until she falls back asleep.

Seth knows he should probably step in, relieve Ryan of Summer.

But he doesn't.

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His parents and Ryan are out of the house, attending the first session of, "family group errands."

They invited Seth to participate, but he declined the offer, because it's Ryan that needs his Mom and Dad's attention right now, and he and Ryan will work things out eventually and totally on their own, without the services of a therapist thanks, just like they always do.

Instead he calls Mr. Roberts and tells him that he thinks Summer is due for a facial and a manicure and a pedicure and would it be ok if he went ahead and made an appointment for her. She always does it every three weeks but she probably forgot because…

"That'd be great, Seth. Thanks. For everything."

No problem, Mr. Roberts.

Oh, and thank you, Sir.

For having sex eighteen years ago and procreating.

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Five weeks, three hours, and NO "beef briskets" later, Ryan is still talking to Seth, a little more each day, accompanied by a few more smiles and not quite as much overall tension in his body or in his voice or on his face.

"Do you know what I miss the most about Coop?" Summer asks Ryan as they sit side by side on the edge of the pool, their feet submerged in the blue water.

"What?" he says, pushing the water into wavy, swirly circles with his toes.

"The drama. Things are too predictable and boring without Coop's endless drama."

Ryan doesn't offer an answer.

Summer doesn't push for one.

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Ryan's angry outburst isn't Seth's fault this time.

Really.

Seriously, it isn't.

Ryan's mom calls, drunk.

And you can hear the emotional anvil drop from the other side of the world.

Ryan yells into the phone.

Two times.

Fast!

"I'm done!"

"I'm done!"

And one more time, just in case Mrs. Atwood isn't completely clear as to who Ryan is talking to, he bellows, "I'm done with this shit, Mom!"

Ryan slams the receiver down so hard that Seth is sure he's broken his hand.

Or the kitchen counter.

Or the phone.

Or at the very least, the pound symbol.

Ryan stomps off or rather tries to, but Sandy is blocking the patio door and Kirsten the kitchen and Seth in the direct line of the front door.

Ryan wraps his arms around his middle and looks up at Sandy as says, "She promised me this time she wouldn't start drinking again. She _promised_ me."

"I know," Sandy nods. "She's trying, Ryan. She really is. Overall she's doing much better."

Ryan stares at floor.

Shakes his head back and forth.

Says softly, "I can't handle anymore."

"It's ok," Kirsten answers, pulling him into a one-sided hug.. "No one expects you to, honey."

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Summer moves into the Cohens on the Fourth of July.

And never moves out.

Julie needs to be with her dad and besides, Summer explains to Seth, she was leaving her dad's house for Brown in the fall anyway, so what's a month or two early?

Kirsten and Sandy don't seem to mind.

Ryan doesn't seem to notice, even when Summer takes to falling asleep with him periodically, in the pool house.

Seth doesn't worry.

It's not sex that Summer wants from Ryan, it's something much deeper.

Something Seth can't give her.

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Little by little, Summer does what the rest of them can't.

One night, after dinner, it's a quick question. "Did she cry, Atwood?"

"No," Ryan shakes his head.

One day, before Sandy leaves for work, in the kitchen, Summer asks Ryan, "Do you think Coop knew she was dying or did she just fall asleep?"

"She knew," Ryan says, his eyes not leaving the counter top, fingers picking at the crevices, "She didn't fall asleep. She just stopped breathing."

Little by little it goes, like a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop, one lick at a time.

Summer asks Ryan questions and when August comes to an end, Seth realizes that they know the whole story of what happened that night, the night Marissa died.

Summer has managed to coax it all out of him.

And she and Ryan both seem the better for it.

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The day her plane leaves for Providence, Summer is officially free of the Ambien.

She's even wearing her glossy pink lipstick again.

There's proof of it on Ryan's cheek, right where she kisses him goodbye.

Seth doesn't want to let go of her hand, but he knows logically he has to.

So he does.

Summer makes it halfway to the metal detectors, turns around, comes back and tells Ryan, "If it had to happen, I'm glad Marissa was with you. She loved you, always, even when you guys weren't together. And I know sometimes she didn't show it, but affection wasn't exactly Coop's strong suit. I mean, hello? Julie Cooper for a role model, right?"

Ryan receives the last official hug from Summer Roberts before she boards her plane.

Seth watches her mess with the male security guard, teasing him as she slowly takes off her shoes and feigning stupid girl as she plucks everything down on the conveyer belt.

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Ryan's mom calls him back in September, apologetic and sober.

Berkeley phones the house for confirmation of his fall attendance and dorm assignment.

Seth starts going with Ryan to his bi-weekly "errands" sessions.

They all decide as a family, together, that Ryan is ready to leave them and that Berkeley can't and shouldn't wait any longer and that he should leave Newport, even though it's going to be hard for any of them to let him go.

With RISD on hold until January, Seth gets an apartment close to the university campus and hangs out with Ryan most of the first semester.

Ryan takes it slow, one new day at a time, just like he always has every day of his life.

Seth helps him

In late October, a girl with a shy smile and fading summer freckles asks Ryan out to a local bar where undergrads can drink with ridiculously forged and fake ID's.

Seth accepts for him and shoves Ryan out the dorm room door.

Marissa stays dead.

Ryan starts living.

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Thanks for reading. I think I have almost exercised all my season three finale demons.


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